Even when your goal is complete and results in success, you believe you could and should have done it better. Perfectionists don't acknowledge their wins to the extent of feeling the joy and satisfaction of a job well done.
Instead, they find the flaws in how they or others executed the project. There is always something wrong, even though the outcome is exactly what they wanted. While an individual with a healthy mindset allows for mistakes, an extreme perfectionist doesn't forgive their mistakes. Instead of viewing them as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less than perfect outcome.
You feel inadequate, even stupid, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing all productivity. Perfectionists are intensely afraid of being judged by others. They often want the outside world to view them, not only as being perfect, but making perfection easy. Even when your world is a disaster zone, you put up a front to lead others to think it's all just perfect.
Perfectionists like to stick with what they know. If you're presented with an opportunity that means you'll have to develop more skills or move outside of your comfort zone, you're likely to turn it down. You're afraid that you're not smart enough to tackle a new learning curve and will be seen as a failure or let someone down.
Personality and positive qualities like, honesty, compassion, humor, etc. It's not enough to be a wonderful person, you must be a perfectly wonderful person. You don't allow others to see your flaws and most likely you talk about your achievements, but never your failures. Perfectionists cope well in a low-stress environment, so as long as nothing challenges you you're fine.
So how do you balance a desire for achievement fueled by perfectionism with a need for self-care and kindness? Also, understand what perfectionism is and how it may be operating in your life. Perfectionism is the pursuit of flawlessness. Bea says. Having high standards has its benefits.
It can help people improve their skills, even though dare we say it? Backing away from that anxiety — by, say, watching TV instead of working on a presentation you have to give — releases the tension you feel.
This leads to a cycle of avoiding tasks that make you anxious, which, in turn, makes your anxiety even worse. It contributes to social anxiety. It can be very debilitating. Procrastination can lead to greater feelings of failure, further perpetuating a vicious and paralyzing cycle.
Because a less-than-perfect performance is so painful and scary to perfectionists, they tend to take constructive criticism defensively, while high achievers can see criticism as valuable information to help their future performance. High achievers tend to have equally high esteem; not so with perfectionists. Perfectionists tend to be very self-critical and unhappy and suffer from low self-esteem.
They can also be lonely or isolated as their critical nature and rigidity can push others away as well. This can lead to lower self-esteem. Recognizing that a change may be needed is a very important first step toward creating a more easygoing nature and achieving the inner peace and real success that comes from overcoming perfectionism and being able to say that "almost perfect" is still a job very well done. Ever wonder what your personality type means? Sign up to find out more in our Healthy Mind newsletter.
Perfectionism and the cortisol response to psychosocial stress in men. Psychosom Med. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellMind. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page. These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data. We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. How to Overcome All-or-Nothing Thinking.
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